Goodbyes in Life

YOLO - you only live once, a mantra most hold onto when faced with a dilemma. It is the four-letter abbreviation that motivates so many to do what they are hesitant to. Yet it also means that every moment only happens once. That amazing night out where you had the greatest time with your dearest friends, that birthday celebration that came as a surprise, or that moment you pulled an all nighter the night before a coursework deadline... These moments, those moments that you love or hate, will one day become mere memories.

I'm one to cling onto memories. I collect postcards, take pictures.. and there are memories so fond I'm afraid I would forget about them one day. I'm afraid of goodbyes, when things would become different from what it used to be, when the good times turn into those good old days. I last updated this blog almost 2 years ago, at the end of my first year of university. And now I'm commencing my 4th year of university soon, with this newfound fear of graduating and officially becoming a working adult. For once, I am not looking forward to the future, in fact, I'm clinging onto the student status.

--- And this was a draft I wrote a year ago before I started my 4th year. Now I'm done!

...I'm done. Graduated. Free. Starting work. Making money... Trapped? ...Maybe not, but travelling. Reading back to the fear I've had of graduating, perhaps I wasn't content with not having progress. In fact, this year I've found a graduate job at a new company, and the notion of not knowing what's to come makes graduation just a stepping stone to the vast unknown ahead, making life much more interesting.

Looking back at my previous posts makes me so grateful for starting this blog. They remind me of how much I've grown and how well I'm doing so far. This 3 year gap in posting? I'll take it as a good sign that I was too absorbed in life to reflect upon it. It's been an insane ride. I've learnt and grown so much, and if I told Year 1 me, that I've gotten a prize by doing a research project, and gotten a stats-related job, she wouldn't have believed me at all. But she would be glad to know that I've learnt to control my emotions much better and am much more matured now, surrounded with people who make me happy and loved.

I've recently started to learn to truly love myself. And this summer, will be lover girl summer, where I find a purpose for myself, before work starts. Finally, once again, till next time --

~Carpe diem~